[This passage was originally written in 2014. This does not necessarily reflect my view today.]
Oh, Melanie. You have scarred my soul permanently. I continue to and always will love you. You have left an irremovable mark on my heart so that even if I recover, I will still possess love for you. How could I have been such a fool and a coward not to choose to be closer to you , instead of further away?
My purpose is family and the health of my family and I see that now. I once believed that time would heal the scar you left on me, but time only solidified an unhealed injury to permanency. There was a time when I wanted to convince myself I didn’t value you, or that I have forgotten about you. All such attempts were in vain. Now though, as my days grow darker, I don’t want to be healed. I do not want to forget you because you were the only lasting good thing in my life. Love truly, at its core, is enduring and cannot be erased. Perhaps life would have been simpler had I not met you. Perhaps life would not be as colorful. An angel you are, and an angel you remain to be. To be shown such happiness and to be stripped of it might in fact be worse than being shown happiness at all. I believe all men are accorded an object of hope from the high heavens and in my case, you’re that object.